I thought I saw

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 20 - Write the words " I thought I saw" at the top of your page. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Don't take you pen off the page (or fingers off the keyboard). Stop only when the buzzer rings! Do this exercise over and over if you wish. Write beyond 5 minutes if you like, you can link it up as an extra post.


I tried this twice - strictly timed to the 5 mins, with limited editing - I might play around with this as a rewrite sometime. Sort of inspired by the dreamy feel in The Slap last night - Connie's story...

I Thought I saw…

1)

They say it will come when you least expect it. He walked into my life and took up residence as if he’d always been there.

Hey baby, come be with me

Hey baby come lie down beside me, let me kiss you

Hey baby we’ll have such a wonderful life together, you and me

Hey baby you are my love, my only one, my forever…

I though I saw love in his eyes

Silken months of joy, love and desire, happy like never before

As summer faded and leaves grew wizened, promises now lost

I realized I had been mistaken.

2)

Summer sun, steamy breezes, breaths of love and desire

You are my beautiful you are my only

You are my only one

In those eyes, I thought I saw love

Autumn chill, leaves turn golden and sadly fall

No more, summer’s passion passed, now gone

In those eyes, I thought I saw love

Mistaken

Rewrite...The God of Small things

Write on Wednesday Exercise 14 - The Mighty Mighty Rewrite...

Zanni: I did a workshop with literary author Mj Hyland, who teachers Masters in Creative Writing at Manchester University. She asked us to choose our favourite book, take the first paragraph and then write our own content into the paragraph, keeping the structure, tone, language etc. It's really helpful!

Here's my first go at WoW, I don't think I've attempted creative writing since school days! 

I love the God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. I've tried to keep the tone and language, but change the context and weather.

Original

"May in Ayemenem is a hot, brooding month. The days are long and humid. The river shrinks and black crows gorge on bright mangoes in still, dustgreen trees. Red bananas ripen. Jackfruits burst. Dissolute bluebottles hum vacuously in the fruity air. Then they stun themselves against clear windowpanes and die, fatly baffled in the sun. The nights are clear but suffused with sloth and sullen expectation."

Rewrite

"February in Bourke is a hot hellish month. The days are long and tortured. Dust blows and seeps slickly into the crevices of cars and homes and families. Mirrored light shimmers a mirage. Black crows gorge on the battle-losers and blowies hum their hypnotic drone.

The nights are cooler but instilled with lethargic anticipation."


Comments welcome!