Monday 3 October 2011

Sit under a tree and write..WoW Exercise 17

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 17: This week, we are going with Karen's idea for an open choice week. So take a look at the old writing exercises (you can find them listed in my sidebar: WoW Writing Exercises), find one you'd like to try (or retry!) and link it up to the linky below.
5 minutes inspired by a picture.
I can't work out how to copy it, but you can see it here. http://inkpaperpen.blogspot.com/2011/07/sit-under-tree-and-writeits-write-on.html

No-one knew of course. She could never let them know or too many would be at risk. The warnings had been rumbles of mumbles and murmurs, but none had heeded them. Not in their land, not in their homes.
Of course, the political word had been out, that there would be change when the new regime took over, but the extremes that it would go to were never envisaged. As the daughter of a city academic, life had been comfortable, never the sunburnt toil of the country folk. School, enough to eat, a pretty home, space of their own.
And then the trucks and the soldiers, the dictation of enforced poverty and an agrarian state.  Just yesterday the neighbours were taken, told that their new life would be in service of the better good. The screams of the children still echoed in her ears.
She ran to the tree, in the green glade, a special place, her special place. Checking over her shoulder, she made sure she had not been seen. A tear dropped as she slipped her treasures into the rootspace.

12 comments:

  1. I liked this piece. When I saw that you had chosen the tree exercise I expected a stream of conciousness type. You did something different and wrote well. Good job.

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  2. A great spin on this exercise! I could sense the sorrow that your character was going through. Very well written!

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  3. 'The warnings had been rumbles of mumbles and murmurs,' great phrase. Such a tragic image of someone burying their treasure under the safety of a tree.
    I saw Cambodia in your tag cloud & this all makes sense, it did anyway! But it clarified a question I was asking myself about where it was set.
    Jennifer

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  4. I like the thought of burying treasures in the roots of a tree. lovely writing.

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  5. Thankyou all for your comments. The photo inspired some grim memories of our trip to Cambodia last year.
    Kate

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  6. I loved what you wrote. I didn't see the Cambodia reference until after I read the comments so in my mind I was imagining a new war and it totally grabbed my imagination. I really enjoyed it. It felt very real and authentic.

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  7. I didn't see the Cambodia tag until after I read Jennifer's comment and like Eloise I thought this was about something in the future, a new war. I think this is a piece you could continue with? If it feels right to you? I could have kept reading and loved the rumbles of mumbles and murmurs.

    Also, thanks for your feedback on both my post and on WoW - I have been trying to come up with a solution to people getting barely any comments if they link late. As for my post, I was thinking of Basil Fawlty as I wrote and was pretty chuffed you thought of him while reading!

    Gill x

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  8. You have done such a great job here! So suspenseful and poignant. Wonderful!

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  9. hmmm, yes a new war could be a little less miserable than Cambodia (one sided genocide) which would make it more enjoyable to write. I'll think on that, thanks for commenting!
    Kate

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  10. Such a strong scene. So sad to have to witness such atrocity.

    Nice writing.

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  11. Incredibly powerful and moving. Heartbreaking the picture of a child (Im assuming it was a child) hiding treasures in the tree roots.

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  12. I have goosebumps! The images are very strong and clear and if there was more I'd still be reading!

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Please leave me comments so I can develop my writing!