Trapped in the cage of her chest, her heart
hammered, birdlike, as she scrambled backwards. Was it the berries that killed
them, or something else, something more sinister? Consciously slowing her breathing, the tingling round
her lips receded, and her eyes darted around the jungle floor as she tried to
work out what to do. She just had to get help by whatever means she could –
perhaps a fire would alert others to her presence. She reached out for a piece of
dead wood, a sudden sting spread up her arm and as her sharp cry split the air,
the world started to spin.
I am so glad you decided to continue on with your last story. I wanted to know what happened next. The continuation to the story was awesome and high paced it kept me on the edge of my seat. From your first powerful sentence to the last I was hooked. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI too liked that you continued on from your previous story. From your description, I can see the scene and her reactions. Really enjoyed this!
ReplyDeleteVery suspenseful - well done! One thing gave me pause "hammered, birdlike", but overall worked for me.
ReplyDeleteGreat continuation! I found this vivid and captivating. I'm excited to learn what happens...perhaps a part 3?
ReplyDeleteI'm gnawing my fingernails - please write a part 3...;)
ReplyDeleteI am also so glad for the contiuation! Way to leave me wanting more...again :) Awesome job!!
ReplyDeleteOK, all - thankyou for your feedback. Part 3 depends on what Lillie's word is........!!
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