Lillie's 5 sentence fiction word of the week is Hunger.
She wandered, footsore, along the jungle track, her eyes
scanning for edible fruit. She felt so alone and confused, having woken from
sleep to find him gone, and that was three days ago. The reality was that there
was no-one else on the island, no-one else to help her, no way of summoning
help. Spying pink berries along the side of the path, she instinctively reached
out to grab them and shovel them into her mouth to fill her gaping need. But
she stopped in fright as, from the corner of her eye, she saw the moonshine
white of a skeletal hand.
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| berries |
What a story! Well done. When I read the last line, I said 'oh my goodness' out loud :) Great job!
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing! Great story :)
ReplyDeleteGreat details in your story! The last line made me jump too! Loved the added picture.
ReplyDeleteYikes! Sounds like there might be two hungry people in this story...either that or those berries aren't really there, or? Really wondered what was going to happen next!
ReplyDeleteWell done! I especially like the "moonshine white" of the bones. My only suggestion would be to cut out "instinctively" and "to fill her gaping need" and see how it reads without them. It might have a little more punch.
ReplyDelete